SEPTEMBER 14, 2020
What do you do if you’re televangelist Jim Bakker and your attempt to sell a (fake) all-purpose cure for COVID, SARS, HIV, and “all venereal diseases” has failed miserably?
Simple. Go back to your bread and butter: Giant Buckets of Disgusting Apocalyptic Food.
For $10,000, you can now purchase “Joseph’s Storehouse Food,” 115 buckets of dried whole egg powder, vegetable stew, pancake mix, beans, oats, and more. It’s 27,703 servings of food no reasonable person would ever voluntarily eat with a supposed shelf life of 30 years.
There’s some irony in that name, too: “Joseph’s Storehouse Food.” In the Bible, Joseph, the de facto leader of Egypt, knew that a seven-year famine was on the way, so he hoarded all the food he could… only to sell it back to his people in their time of need. In many ways, it’s a story of wealth inequality and capitalism gone awry. The people give Joseph everything they have in exchange for the food because it’s literally their last option.
So if you’re desperate for glop, and have a spare $10,000 lying around… well, just send me a check and I’ll mail you some cereal. I promise it’ll be better than this.
(via Right Wing Watch)
- TAGGED WITH:
- GENERAL
- JIM BAKKER